I hate hate hate how I enjoy performing femininity. I hate it. How do I stop? This is Stockholm syndrome and I know it but wearing a dress and conforming to beauty standards still makes me feel good sometimes.
The above is a photo I took the other day while using my computer a mirror to try on a new lipstick I got.
The first radical text I read was Beauty and misogyny: harmful cultural practices in the West by Sheila Jeffreys. I know what long term make-up use can do for me health wise, I know that the beauty standard is based in white supremacy, I know that as a lesbian I am still catering to men’s comfort while wearing make-up, I have a radical understanding of femininity, and what that means politically.
I don’t pretend that conforming to femininity is in any way political, or radical or anything other than trying to fit in, and that’s fine. Sometimes it’s easier to fit in, and I can’t criticize women who have a radical understanding, but also want to feel comfortable living in this horrible society. I might not be the right person to ask this to.